No, Honestly

Struggling actor Charles Danby meets children's author Clara Burrell at a boring party and asks her out for an afternoon and teaches her about ""who does which, when and whatever.""

After a week and a half of going out, Clara tries to fit into C.D.'s life by joining his football team as a goalkeeper. This doesn't bother C.D. so much as what she does during and after the match.

C.D. suffers from a case of nerves when he comes to meet Clara's father and the imperious butler Royle; but who is who and what about the boiler?

C.D. takes Clara clothes shopping to try to change her image.

C.D. tries to hide that fact that he was an orphan by hiring actor friends to play his parents at a dinner party given by Clara's parents. Confusion arises when Royle takes the week off and the temporary staff arrives before C.D.'s ""parents.""

Clara decides they should try various aspects of living together before they get married. Clara tries her hand at cooking except she ""forgot to light the oven.""

The Danbys try not to let anyone know that they are on their ""thingy."" So when they arrive at the hotel they try to convince everyone there that they have been married for years.

The newlyweds have their first ""sage and sorrel"" over household chores and Clara's painting everything white. In her painting, she includes the garden; ""except for the earth, I left the earth brown, for contrast like you said.""

Clara and C.D. have a disastrous dinner party to pay back their social obligations.

Clara quarrels with her publisher over the use of Ollie the Otter for a new project and C.D. goes quietly crazy when he's been out of work for nine weeks straight.

Still unemployed, the Danbys sell Clara's antique bed to help pay the bills because they aren't broke but ""more completely knackered really."" Then they learn the aunt who gave it to her is back in England and wants it back to give it to a recently married relative; meanwhile Clara tries to train Harold.

Clara gets a small part in a movie featuring C.D. and their living room.

C.D. & Clara try to surprise each other on the morning of their first wedding anniversary and are both surprised by a burglar.